


Cobweb Afternoon

by RioSensei



Category: Utena
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-03-01
Updated: 2003-03-20
Packaged: 2013-05-13 02:56:34
Rating: T
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,992
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1254593/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/142074/RioSensei
Summary: A star is born and fades as two collide into a doomed affair. Yuri.





	1. on a cobweb afternoon

Obligatory Disclaimer: Characters-Not mine. How's that for concise?  
  
  
Cobweb Afternoon  
  
The lazy afternoon sun cast tall, anorexic shadows on the small taxi as it sped with purpose down the harsh, gravel road. Moving through the cool, emerald hues of the lush forest surroundings, the young woman in the backseat slowly rolled-down her window, instantly being greeted by the welcome and clean air of a virgin atmosphere. The breeze whipped her golden and meticulous curls about her face unkindly, obstructing Juri's hazel eyes from the lonely vision of the forest; the trees, however were not the reason she was venturing so out into such desolate surroundings. No, she thought, her emotions wading through a pool of anticipation; she had an appointment. The man driving would sometimes sneak small, wondrous glances at this woman, for she certainly seemed to be something special. Her features were strong, containing with them a sharp, undeniable beauty; this woman was dressed very well for a meeting in the middle of nowhere, he thought. Wondering who would entice such a woman out into this god-forsaken land, the man tried his best to focus, careful to watch the road ahead of him.  
  
The taxi stopped near the entrance and she paid the man accordingly. Stepping out from the car, the young woman's critical eyes moved across the expanse of the secluded mansion. It had a feeling of emptiness, weariness, and the airs of something long lost and forgotten; still, its beauty and construction was well-noticeable. Straightening out her small, silver dress, Juri Arisugawa took to her feet. She traveled across the outside hall with her head held high, the tall, dirty parapets casting out long shadows across the quiet walls as the sky started to slowly cloud and thicken. The air around her grew dense and she felt as though it might rain, the temperature however still retaining its pleasant coolness. The steady and strong click of her heels on the pavement was the only pervasive sound as she entered through a door to the inside of the house. She started wondering, suddenly, if anyone else would find such an odd tryst disheartening, or perhaps frightening. Then again, she doubted if any such person would be sent an invitation to this mansion to begin with. The young woman smiled ironically to herself then; since when would her host ever consider her of such elite character, her, above the countless others? No, there was no such bond between them. She had known this, had to know it, because self-deception or even the faintest glimmer of hope was a foolish and deadly thing. This was, as it always, a call to a need. A consentive meeting of two people who only desired one thing. It wasn't love; it wasn't some blind, hopeful affection. It was a temporary fix to wounds that would never be healed, a distraction from some eternal, self-strewn prison. Juri Arisugawa was an intelligent person. She understood this, thus accepting it.   
  
The halls of the building were quiet; cool blue shadows hung peacefully over the rooms in a silent vigil, never frightening but always there. None of the furnishings, tapestries, or rugs were worn or wrecked, simply old and unused, unseen, unkempt things which seemed content in their exile. The tall, athletic woman took to climbing the stairs. An army of small pitter-patter from outside indicated the rain was starting to fall, as expected.   
  
Walking with her usual air of steady confidence and determination, Juri could feel a small foreign breeze slowly waft into her. That feeling, that strange unnamable emotion tugging deep and hidden somewhere inside, the thing she had no desire to seek or find. That hidden drug laced carefully into her cocktail of anticipation mixed with desire. She didn't want to think enough of it to give it form, or name, or any tangible existence. She didn't have time to waste, room to fill, or energy to use on any horrible device of her emotions. Weary eyes gleamed with resolve and she nodded steadily. Whatever it was, Juri thought as she rounded a corner, couldn't threaten her if it didn't exist. So that small gale which whispered to her silently, that tiny hint of light being cast from the shadows, remained unheard and unseen. It would have no choice but to atrophy and disappear, fade away like a thin puff of smoke. Thankfully.   
  
Finally, she had entered a room with its familiar, waiting inhabitant. The rain sliding unbridled down the window pane cast specters of light dancing across the faded, lime-tinted walls, as well as along the profile of the young woman who stood gazing out to the forest. The shadows played quietly along the white spread of the untouched bed-sheets and swirled down across the cold, wooden planks of floor. The room seemed mostly barren and lifeless, save for the bed and a small nightstand, and Juri took a surprisingly deep breath before approaching the girl before her. She strode over coolly to the windows, drinking in the figure of her host. Her thin yet able body, the wild, cerulean mop of hair, the way her shoulders were always so confidently set. The smaller, younger, immature wild child who would call out to her. The brave girl who would challenge her. The contest was always unworded but always set forth, that want to invoke something inside Juri none other would dare. Standing behind Kozue, she touched her arm for a sign of recognition of her newly made presence.   
  
**  
  
Kozue, of all the things she liked to consider her own, treasured this old manor most. Houses, places, people, all would present to her what she despised. They could be beautiful, they would be clean, or elegant, something shining or graceful; whatever it was, she knew it all to be false, and she hated this most of all. Chip away at the beauty, and you would have dirt. The pretty, precious things they would present would always be ugly, and she resented this most of all. But this house, this house was real. It was cold, it was shadowed, and it was empty. No one lived here to give it some fake glimmer; no one possessed the chance to create a farce. It was her dirty little haven.   
  
Approaching someone like the fencer was curious. The older girl was something different, she would admit to herself, something she had yet to figure out. Out of all the plastic glitter and shining ugly faces…Her light seemed real. That blazing incandescence which all who knew her would admit to, it seemed genuine. But she wondered. Could something like that be real? What did it possess within it? Was it some shining miracle, or some hopeful, spirited promise? Could she taint it, bring it down or prove it false, or was such a thing unchangeable? This was the reason, she supposed, why she was drawn to Juri. Maybe, she would sometimes ponder, maybe she was trying to win it for herself. Claim this wondrous thing for her own, but why would she? Was she not satisfied with her current self? She had been content before, with herself, her beliefs on the world, and her place in it was well. These thoughts of course, were disrupting and she tried usually not to think of them. For now, in this current state of being, she was merely content to play with her new toy.  
  
She could feel eyes on her suddenly and smiled.  
  
She paid no attention to the steady click of soles on the floor as the other approached her, simply deciding to let the older girl make the first move. There was a way to them, their game, and the rules before them were always applied. The intricate moves of the dance both were graciously willing to step to, and Kozue knew Juri to be in favor of leading. Kozue felt entertained enough to humor the fancy. A warm, strong hand touched her arm, and repressing the urge to fall back into a waiting embrace, she danced away lightly to eye her visitor.  
  
A playful smile earned its way onto her pleased expression; she was never disappointed in how Juri appeared to her. A mix of strong femininity and unyielding masculinity wrapped up in an almost ethereal body, a form which one would perhaps find in a master's sculpture. Some exquisite work of marble in the shape of a golden queen, a warrior goddess, fresh with youth and vitality, but possessing weary eyes which had been known to fill to the brim with unbridled, searing emotion. This was Juri Arisugawa; this was, for today, hers.   
  
This queen approached her again, calmly, slowly. Outwardly, her confidence seemed to never waver; Kozue wondered if she was really so unmoved, so unshakable. Was there nothing under her flawless skin? No soul, no heart heaving steadily under her breast? No, she smiled, there was something there. She could feel it. As strong as one like her would seem, there was always weakness. Under the coldness was a fire, a small flicking amber, just waiting to be unleashed.   
  
Juri stood before her now, and Kozue wondered if the fates had decried that she would be the one who should light the pyre.   
  
**  
**  
  
She leaned back into the tub, feigning graciously to herself a feeling of contentment. The small wisps of dancing steam rolled across the glassy surface of the water, and she blew away sternly at the joyful looking spirits. Her eyes focused on the ceiling of the empty bathroom, before slowly closing them in weary concession. Juri sighed.   
  
This had to stop; this thing, the action which filled her with a feeling not unlike contentment, the rolling emotion washing her despair cleanly, gently away. it wasn't right, it couldn't last. She was like an ornamental plastic star, one you would hang on a tree, or from the ceiling perhaps. Something dead, false. But now…Now she could feel the old tired skin break and fade, bending to form a new her, a real star, a shining body of heaven. Something of that kind of beauty could not be forged in such an atmosphere, could it? This game they played would have to end eventually, she knew.  
  
But did she want that? Could she have anything else, was there a way to create something more? She shifted uncomfortably in the water, causing the smooth surface to ebb and ripple. She laid there for several minutes, eyes closed, basking in the warm, soothing heat of the water. Her thoughts slowly drifting away and she didn't hear as someone approached her.  
  
Smelling suddenly a familiar wisp of nicotine, Juri opened her eyes in alert. However, the puff of smoke's owner had already retreated into another room, leaving behind she noticed, a fresh glass of blood red wine. A smile worked its inexplicable way across her face, and as she felt it form, realized how dangerous it really was. 


	2. and when you asked for a light I set mys...

I Set Myself On Fire

To anyone who would claim to know Juri Arisugawa, she was a woman of ice. A barren, frigid field blistering herself on an otherwise lively and active landscape, the fencer stood coolly off to a corner of the cafeteria. The bustling mass of students around her swelled into an active leviathan, a enormous beast alive within its own world. She stood solitary and apart from this, hazel eyes gazing past the monster of loud students and to the opposite wall. Looking there, across to a specific group of girls, or more precisely the one and singular girl, she knew nothing within her was frozen at all.

By choosing this path, by partaking in the challenge, Juri had enrolled herself into a new and all together dangerous endeavor. Through her cool, aloof pretense, past her apathetic and uncaring stare, she was yet still a child. A child who would partake into a truly adult game, one she was certainly unready and ill-equipped for. To play, you couldn't feel, you shouldn't care. To play…You certainly shouldn't hope. And hope, of course, was always her downfall. Calmly, almost unnoticeably, she stood watching Kozue from a safe distance. No, that wasn't particularly true; it seemed nowhere was safe any longer. After all, she could never really escape herself. Holding a shining, silver razor to her waiting heart, the golden-haired young woman felt a familiar emotion slowly creep upon her.

The blue-eyed young woman she watched seemed altogether unaware of the eyes set upon her. The younger girl, it certainly seemed, was much more adept at the game than she. Her grin was masterful and wolfish, ready to engulf the eager boy in front of her. Her cobalt eyes sparkled as a new strategy weaved itself into the fabric of her plan and she knew for certain that this little fly would fall so graciously into her web. Another amusing and useful toy to play with, at least until she decided to grow bored or lose interest. 

Being an audience to this, even as far as she was from it, made her feel like something else. Something primal, something wild. Her heart drove her on like the tribal beat of a drum, the rhythm moving through her, transforming her. The thick, unfettered emotion, something more than want or need or desire, something fierce and unnamable, surged through her like crazed adrenaline. Juri wanted to rip past the crowds. She wanted to tear the boy apart, tear them all apart, tear every line, every restraint, everything keeping her from having the other girl completely. She wanted to rip away this game, to have nothing between them except what was real. It was selfish, wasn't it? 

She was haunted. The feeling of Kozue's skin on hers, their breath intermingling, the mouths and hands and fierce release. These things, these experiences, it made her burn. It was Juri's fuel, and she set herself on fire. The flames were wild and seared completely through her, engulfing her with the blazing, crimson ember of human emotion. As the inferno grew, it seemed, there was no longer anything she could do to stop it.

Then again, she didn't want to. She knew, somewhere, that this was dangerous. That the choices she was making would ultimately cause her downfall; but here, in this moment, It didn't matter. She was alive and, finally, she could feel.

She was human. 


	3. And in the aching night under satellites

The Aching Night

A thin, white cigarette hung from her lips as she thumbed her lighter absently; Kozue had acquired the smoking habit like just about every other adolescent smoker her age: it was taboo, dirty, thus rebelliously appealing.  The girl's slightly glazed eyes flicked over to other occupant reclining on the couch, her naked form sprawled beautifully out before the wild child's devouring gaze.  The moonlight from the window, the only light illuminating through the dark room, seemed to give her body an otherworldly luster which only seemed to enhance her appealing features.  Juri's head lay back as her chest, glistening with a thin sheen of sweat, heaved slowly as she regained herself.  Her features unreadable in her current position, Kozue assumed the other girl's mutual contentment; she flicked on the lighter, her own nakedness briefly being made out as she ignited the end of her cigarette.  Closing her eyes and taking in a thick puff of nicotine, her mind slowly adjusted to its usual sharpness and shook off the remnants of her climax.  Exhaling the ghostly wisp of gray haze into the room, she felt the young woman behind her rise to sit.

Instead of looking over to the woman who was probably eyeing her at this moment, or trying desperately to avoid doing so, Kozue let her eyes shift across the dark room.  Even in the thick veil of midnight hours, the mess which was Juri's dorm was clearly recognizable.  Of course, one would only assume that the perfect, immaculate Arisugawa would only maintain the tidiest of rooms, which was just the exact opposite of the truth.  It was an unkempt mess, with clothes and papers strewn about haphazardly as if a whirlwind had torn a path inexplicably through her small living space.  Using an empty, nearby soda can as an ash-tray, she took a curious glance to the oddly still woman beside her.  The taller woman's face was shrouded by a tangled, yet somehow still attractive, mess of gold curls, though Kozue could guess her bedmate's turmoil.  She smiled to herself, reveling in the fact that she herself could cause such fits of mental anguish.  Juri was trying so desperately to maintain her stoic coolness, but like a fine, velvet curtain drawn easily away by her continual coaxing, leaving the stark nakedness of the situation before her amused eyes.  Before she could make a remark, Juri rose off the sofa and stalked silently into the bathroom; as the stark light clicked on, the perpetual tapping of the running shower faucet soon followed.  Taking the last small drag off of her cigarette, she considered briefly in joining her.  She was sure the other would enjoy that very much, in fact.  

Yes, she knew very well of the fencers inevitable, bourgeoning feelings toward her, and with the utmost delighted fascination, played on them at every opportunity.  Whenever she was watching her, thinking herself unseen, Kozue would effortlessly antagonize her into a silent stew of jealousy.  She would move just a little closer to her random affection of the day, place an arm around them perhaps, and sometimes things unfathomably more wicked.  She loved that feeling, the power of having this for herself, a person who could only burn for her.  The feeling was quite intoxicating.  Snubbing the butt of the cigarette out and shoving it through the can opening, she rose to dress, deciding against the shower.  No sense in giving the other any sort of message that Kozue had any extra surplus of want inside her for Juri in particular.    

Because there wasn't.

Redressing herself into the drab Ohtori uniform, she took a last amused look around the room and exited quietly.  The halls of the dorm were quiet and empty considering the late hour and there was really no danger of any curious eyes.  Not that she cared of course, but she knew of Juri's need to be explicitly private in her personal matters, and Kozue was not unreasonable in this request.  It was fairly normal.  Slipping into the small, rusted elevator at the end of the hall, Kozue leaned back onto the wall and sighed.  

As the elevator grudgingly grinded down to the floor level, the blue eyed young woman started to feel a twinge of unease.  As much as she loathed self-analyzing, her mind drifted of into a scrutinizing analysis of this fun she was having with Juri Arisuagawa.  Was it perhaps slowly becoming too much fun; was it bordering into a, perhaps dangerous, self-indulgence?  Control was the most important aspect of this game she played, and control needed to be absolute and thorough at all times.  So why was she so elated?  The realization that she was acquiring far too much pleasure in this for it to be simply another impassive affair pricked her mind like a sharp, intrusive sting.  A frown worked its way onto her face, her sharp, blue brow contorting into an angry knot.  

What was she doing?

Her eyes burrowed into the button panel as the small lights blinked at her defiantly.  She should've ended this by now.  (Didn't they used to tell her, after the third time it became _a thing?) Hell, she had lost track of the countless endeavors with her new playmate, the idea had somehow sneaked past her thoughts.  In fact, had she not started to come up with excuses to see Juri?  She didn't truly recall any others that captured her attentions quite this long; the whole affair had blurred together, smeared like a chalk warning written on the wet pavement.  For a moment, she panicked.  The elevator constricted around her, spiraling down down down into her own personal prison.  She was trapped, she couldn't breath.  Kozue swore and squeezed her eyes shut.  What the fuck was she doing?  Striding angrily out of the elevator, her skirt making a rapid swish at Kozue's anxious pace as the campus grounds remained undisturbed by her presence.    _

Stalking down the cold, dark sidewalks of the Ohtori campus, her mind raced angrily along an all too familiar path.  This would end up just like before, wouldn't it?  That pervasive, tormented past which betrayed her so grudgingly was coming back to replay itself.  She damned the light.  That shinning, glorious thing of her childhood, that special light which shined only for her, only with her, had burnt out and left the dirty, defiant young woman she was.  Kozue knew all about it, the tricky betraying bastard.  So it had come crawling along unseen, tempting her once again? It had enticed her, so mastersfully, back into its deadly, enfolding embrace. No, her mind screamed.  The light wasn't real, it never lasted.  It trapped, it confined, it betrayed and killed.  She had believed in it once, believed in him; him and his glorious light which the two alone had shared.  It was what she had lived for.  And of course, she knew all to well how that had played out.  How her illusions of love, trust and youth came crashing violently down upon her like a thousand, jagged shards of glass.   

And now, it had returned.  She must have been a fool, not realising it up until now; what an idiot, to not have seen what her arrogance was leading her to.  It had returned in the body of an older girl, a ferocious, elegant fencer.  It lulled her with its tempting, intoxicating glow, and she had been almost fool enough to walk into the jaws of a hungry, waiting shark.  No, she wouldn't be devoured.  Kozue vowed never to believe in such a thing again.  She was smart now, she could fight it.  She wasn't a child any longer.  Resolving herself, she decided it was time to break things off.

After one last time…


	4. We are living in exile

            Living in Exile

            The click of her soles on the dusty, cobblestone pavement was strangely muted as she walked steadily through a lesser populated portion of the Ohtori campus.  It was late afternoon as Juri Arisugawa went about her business, the sky searing a painful, bleeding gold, interjected only with long and faded wisps of cream-colored clouds.  The sun burnt harsh, black shadows across the walkways in which the student council member stepped; the sheer death-like quality of the landscape not unnoticed by the fencer.  Walking through a long outdoor corridor, she let herself reflect once more on the person she was briefly going to see.  She hadn't been able to count the time from which their involvement had ended, as hours seemed like days, felt like weeks, burned like months, and moved across her sadness like an eternity.  Another stone set upon her grave, sealing her in a silent and unforgiving ground.  In only a short while, Juri had been reborn, her hope had burned brighter than the piercing afternoon sun, and yet ultimately been extinguished once again into a cool, dead twilight.  To this moment, she wasn't sure if she regretted her entanglement with Kozue or not, but she could never be uncertain of the feelings lingering inside her.  Those, she was sure, would always remain, forever imbedded inside her.  

            Leaning back onto a wall, she closed her eyes coolly and sighed.  The other party took almost immediate notice, and followed suit; both seemingly ignored the labored breath and fierce tread of a frightened teacher running madly down an overwhelming flight of steps.

 "You wanted to talk to me?" Kozue inquired softly, eyes shut, not needing to look over.  Or perhaps just not wanting to.

"That incident last week with that teacher falling down the stairs" Juri began, her elegant voice sliding across the air with a thousand unspoken feelings, "was not an accident.  Rumor has it that he was pushed."

Kozue almost wanted to smile.  Here she thought the other would approach her for a more personal reason, but she should have guessed; Juri never once had come straight out and poured out any declarations, and she certainly didn't possess the courage to give her incredibly obvious feelings form with words.  It was all for the better, since it made it that much easier to end the game.  Just cool silence and softly closing doors; nothing messy or over-emotional.  Kozue, however, wouldn't bother to accept the fact that deep down, she _wanted a scene to be thrown.  She wanted to see defiance, some unwillingness to accept the end, unwillingness to let go.  This, of course, was all hidden cleanly away by a mask of smug confidence and playful indifference.  _

"According to him," Juri added," he wasn't certain whether or not it was an accident.  However, just last night, he got a phone call saying that next time, it wouldn't be just a slight accident."  Emerald eyes opened and her slim, athletic figure straightened, though her gaze still lingered ahead and not towards the other girl.  Kozue's eyes flicked over to Juri briefly, a small sneer escaping her lips.  

"How brilliant, Arisugawa-sempai," she said, the name lingering deliciously on her tongue," you seem to know everything."  How long had it been since she had uttered that name?  Much too long, something whispered, as she mentally kicked the errant thought aside.

Juri countered that statement quickly.  "There are things I don't know.  For example: why you hate this guy so."

Kozue glared at the expanse of sky ahead of her, starting to feel strangely frustrated.  "Because he's always..."

" Always..."  Juri prompted, genuine concern managing to arrogantly fill her words, causing Kozue to seethe almost instantly.

"I will never forgive anyone who disgraces Miki."  The answer came bluntly, almost angrily.

For a moment, there was silence as the fencer apparently weighed the words.  Somehow, Kozue highly doubted the other was plotting to actually instill or recommend discipline for her, despite Juri's status.  Feeling a sudden burst of anxiousness as the other young woman started abruptly walking away, Kozue took a deep breath.

            "Is that it then?"  She practically yelled, the arrogance in her voice slipping into an almost desperate tone.  She took a few steps toward the golden-haired woman as the fencer stopped in her tracks, stiffening.  The older girl didn't answer, merely clenching and unclenching her fists.  Kozue continued to let the question hang in the air, stepping more toward Juri and raising her hand to reach the other's shoulder.  Before her hand could make contact, however, Juri swung violently around, gripping the girls face fiercely in her own hands.  Kozue stood deathly still under the burning, emerald gaze as it practically threatened to devour her whole if she moved.  She clenched her teeth defiantly, gripping the taller girl's shoulders; before she could decide whether to push her away, however, she was pulled into the fiercest, most heart-wrenching kiss she'd probably ever experience.

            In one of the rarest times in all her life, Juri Arisugawa gave up.  In that moment, all the self-inflicted rules restraining her back seemed completely unnecessary and ridiculous, and in a last fit of utterly defiant passion, decided to kiss Kozue for the last time.  The word 'kiss' however, seemed to be so inept at describing it.  Juri had done nothing less than drug her fingers across her own heart, ripped the damn thing open, and shoved every bit of all her feelings right into Kozue.  Every single raking moment of repressed agony in each night they had spent was thrust inside her, whether Kozue wanted them or not.  Which she didn't.  If it was up to her, she would fight, go down kicking and screaming, and never relent until her last breath hung dead in the air.  Unfortunately, as Juri's lips conquered her own with the blunt rage of a thousand relentless wild fires, she was completely defenseless.  And in that single, lingering moment, they shined together.  Like a violent, earth-shattering crack of wild lightning, emblazoning itself into the seared, tattered ground, the force of that moment would last forever inside them.  And just like the lightning, it was over so quickly they could only reel away in painful shock.  The light, the sweltering blaze which ran wild and desperate across them, slowly disappeared, as if it were only a passing wolf running ragged into the night.            

            Kozue stepped, almost staggered, back, swearing slowly under her breath as her hands started to shake.  Juri stood affixed, eyes cast downward as she grazed her fingers against her own quivering lips.  Electricity surged thickly around them, the two only able to stand there, frightened.  It was overwhelming, perhaps too overwhelming for two who were yet, as much as they fought it, children.  And as Juri staggered away, uncharacteristically, and Kozue dropped down as her knees gave way, perplexedly out of character, something in them changed.  It shifted slowly in the dark, changing; whatever it was, whatever it would grow to be, neither could know.  

And maybe they never would.   


End file.
